Unwritten Rules For Dads Grilling

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It's summertime and we know what that means. Grilling season is here. After months of pent-up frustration, it's that time of year when dads come out of BBQ hibernation and return to their natural habitat in front of the grill.

The Ritual Before the First Sear

Before the meat even touches the grill, there’s a ritual that every dad follows. The classic double click of the tongs. After months stuck inside during the winter, you gotta make sure those bad boys still work. This isn’t just a habit; it’s a way to signal readiness and focus. I compare it to the superstition at the beginning of a baseball game. We all knew to never step on freshly painted foul lines. If you don't check those tongs before the meat hits the grill, you might as well be cooking your steak in the microwave because you're bound to fail.

Mastering the Art of Timing

Timing is everything when you're the grill master. If you serve a plate full of burnt hockey pucks at the cookout, that's a slap in the face for the people who came expecting good food. On the flip side, if you serve a plate of raw burgers, that's like saying "Hey thanks for coming, enjoy the E. coli on your way home".

Burgers flip once then cheese it up. After years of practice it becomes second nature. Don't ask Dad if it's done yet. When its done, he will let you know. That's why you always hear dads saying, "Not ready to flip yet" Don't mess with the mojo. Trust the process.

The Grill Master’s Body Language

Watching a dad grill is like watching Tom Brady's combine highlights next to his prime years. At first you're thinking, "This guy looks awkward as hell." Ten minutes later he's putting on an absolute clinic on the grill.

Wide stance, hands on the hips, determined look on the face. Once you see those three things, it's obvious the guy means business. Extra points if he goes far enough to throw on the "World's Best Dad" apron.

Creating the Perfect Cookout Atmosphere

Cookouts aren't just about great food, they're made for good times. As much as we love hearing the sizzling of the grill, Dads got to have the tunes ready to go as well. Can never go wrong with a classic dad rock playlist.

Regardless of Dads age, you can always count on hearing Sweet Home Alabama at least 3 times. I don't have any scientific proof to back this up, but it is an absolute fact that Old School Rock, Country Music, and Blues Rock make the meat come out perfect. Can't argue with a method that's been proven time and time again.

Respecting the Unwritten Code

If you're a Dad and you follow these rules, I can promise you that you will be elected as grill master at every cookout. Its foolproof. Set the tone early and let your work speak for itself. If you don't know how to grill yet, now is your time to learn. There is nothing more embarrassing than your kid having to face their friends after Dad burned all the food at the block party.

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